real All my children

Back To A Grim Reality
Today, How I Met Your Mother aired its 100th episode (and it was amazing. That's not a spoiler, since we all already know that anything and everything about How I Met Your Mother is amazing) and I checked my DVR obsessively to make sure that I had recorded said 100th episode, so that I'd be able to re-watch it a million billion times, as I am wont to do with episodes of shows that I love. Needless to say, I do not have any soap episodes saved to watch endlessly. Imagine that!

And every time I checked my DVR, I noticed that All My Children is also all set and ready to record. And I was tempted to (if you'll imagine me doing huge, sarcastic finger quotes), "accidentally" cancel tomorrow's recording.

I know, you're thinking to yourselves, "Wasn't she kind of mildly pleased with this show just a few hours ago? What gives?" What gives is that I: have a mercurial temperament; was mildly pleased with the adorability and sass that occur exclusively off-screen (since the show, for some reason, is firmly committed to depriving most actors of their natural likability); and, perhaps most egregiously, was forced to watch people LIMBOING today.

Is limboing even a word? I keep reading it as Lim-BOING, which is amusing, especially if you say it out loud. Obviously, my standards for amusement are RIDICULOUSLY low.

What struck me about today's episode, and led me to contemplate getting rid of tomorrow's, is that I don't feel any investment in any of the stories going on.

I mean, I'd contemplate caring about Annie's custody story if I were bribed to do so, but that would mostly be for David Canary's sake, because he is wonderful in every which way.

And I like Greenlee, but I have no desire to watch her make her way back to Pine Valley and to Ryan, who is currently [REDACTED OUT OF COURTESY FOR PEOPLE WHO MAY BE READING THIS WHILST EATING]. Ugh, as she was almost dying during surgery, she had thoughts of Ryan and it totally saved her life. Quick, I'm thinking of a word, see if you can guess it! Three letters, starts with g, rhymes with "bag".

And Jake, Amanda and David, and the shenanigans between the three are too stupid for further comment. I mean, really, how much longer are we going to do the "David BAD"/"Oh, he's not bad, he's dying. Poor David! Dying! Poor Dying David!"/"I'm dying! Mwahaha, not really" dance? It's going to drive me to a mental break, and I'd say I am more than halfway there, based on the Lim-BOING incident...